Random Ahead

I concede that I am incapable of negative capability. As far out into the eternity of space as my whimsical imagination can carry me, there is a primal, voracious desire to know - to quantify and qualify. But perhaps I make a poor case with regard to my imaginative faculty, for even in its convoluted, fantastic profundity it finds the source of its conjurations in the establishment that is the Self. By virtue of being extant as a product of the Self, it is thereby defined and hence explained. Therefore, the conception of the Imagination has been subjugated by reason as well, insofar as it is perceived in exclusion, by an observer without. That is to say, imagination as a discrete whole is explicable, but its wondrous workings and capacity to create ex nihilo remains steeped in archaic mystery.

The Principle of Sufficient Reason propounds the notion that for every single fact (phenomena, states etc.) and being (animate and inanimate) there exists a reason or cause which explains its existence. In short, and in common-speak, to everything there is a reason. Nonetheless, within these girdled bounds of reason, there is a delineated fissure that divorces the empirical from the rational, the former of which would compel one to invoke the question of the limited potency of the human experience. Can that which is observed explained by virtue of its apparent existence? Say, we substantiate the existence of a rock by employing the affirmative power of our sensation and perception - I see the rock, therefore it is. Considering the converse, it follows that if I fail to see the rock, it does not exist, which obviously wouldn't be a very prudent conclusion. Even if we fail to see the rock because it has been relocated, we understand that its existence is indubitable. Perhaps here, you observe that awareness has engendered reason not to take at face value that which is considered apparent.

At this point, I haven't got a clue as to what my thesis is. In fact, I'm not even certain if any of this is relevant to the fact that I have unwittingly reprised the role of the self-doubting architect, who after the painstaking planning of his masterpiece, takes an inward turn and plunges into the abyss of variability within - the antithesis to the invariable structures without. He has established a vast, concrete network of scaffolding that encompasses his vulnerable being, and unbeknownst to him is the vacillating vortex that rages beneath those tenuous walls of flesh.

At times I find myself more frustrated with my frustration at some resistance in the assimilation of material, than the resistance itself.

Divine Pathos

So I sit now at the Central Forum, tracing idly and half in thought the squircular keys of my laptop keyboard while my vacant eyes set their somnolent gaze on trickles of passers-by wearing a nascent morn's lethargy - one that clearly rivals my own. In these ambivalent hours of the day, the thoughts drift and weave in and out of lucidity and dreamstate - our rational judgment is only half-functional, and the rest of it is steeped in a waking sleep. A steady hum of traffic plods up the plane of the nearby hill with its semi-conscious payload - its burden is doubled.

My thoughts are free from laden interjections this morning. The breeze ruffles the sleepy crowns of trees. We are unwinding from slumber; and winding the clockwork.

The solar glow is somnolent, nebulous - yellow. Unlike the noonday beam that falls clearly and paints with a hue of translucence, this one dashes with a splash of saturated yellow - undistilled and raw, in overwhelming excess. The sun is still yawning; it takes a moment for its rays to attune themselves to this capricious, yet obstinate fancy of ours.

Behold, how Nature bends its masteries to our will, for the furnishing of our earthly comfort. Or perhaps it is God whose omnipotent dexterity tugs and lets loose the strings of his natural puppetries - much to our misplaced delight and gratitude.

And when perchance he a thread unwittingly snaps to unleash the elemental torrents, we curse at him.

Maybe He makes mistakes as well?

Reflections on the Double Negative and Matrimony

Speaking of double negative, there seems to be a tacit assumption from the outset regarding the order of arithmetic operations involved - that we are simply deriving the ensuing positive from the simplistic addition of two 'negatives', that is, two '-'. To illustrate my point:

- - = +

Of course, mathematical puritans would immediately cry foul over the blatant defiance of the laws of arithmetic grammer grammar, considering that the concept of the negation being employed as an article (as is 1, 2, 3, ...) is simply unfathomable. What constitutes a 'negation'? The closest entity I could propose to possess some property of quantifiability (discreteness) is the negative electric charge, yet even then, it is not negation, but assumes it as a property.

When expressed in the mathematical vernacular, the phrase 'double negative' doesn't seem to hold its ground convincingly:

(-2)+(-3) = (-5)

The addition of two negatives yields, alas, a negative.

It is only if

2-(-3) = 5

that the presence of two consecutively positioned negatives (rightfully one, preceded by a negative sign) would result in a positive.

Then again, I suppose the immediate argument above is, as mentioned, the tacit assumption made when the term 'double negative' is invoked.

That's just an idle conception that materialised in the concave of my mind (not that it is empty, but that it holds) during the sermon today at my cousin's wedding ceremony at the Church of St. Mary of the Angels, although truth be told, I haven't got a clue as to how matrimony and the double negative are related. I'm sure one can draw some association though. I know I can.

It was the first occasion of matrimony in our family, both immediate and extended, so I suppose it was some manner of a milestone for all of us. There were tears, no doubt, from a mother at her daughter's departure both from the family house as well as the home. As the invitational hymn pattered gently with the piano's melodious serenade, the father entered the church hall, daughter in hand as he took steady strides which were possibly burdened with a woeful reluctance. Yes, that was the cousin who taught me the folk game of 'five stones' or played tag when we were so, so young. She was leaving now.

I find it odd that I should envision the sacrament of marriage as one so bereft of proverbial joy and exuberance - perhaps no more joyous than a funeral. How is it that one could depart even before our mortal demise snatches us from the ones who love us so dearly? Yet, it could be thus that such needless departures and transitions are but the cultural products of social institutions and norms. Bureaucracy and administrations that divorce and segregate, which label and marginalise.

At this point, I realise that perhaps I'm taking what began as a mere tinge of indignation induced by virtue of my bachelorhood a step too far, a thought too deep. I have been well aware of that, and I believe I have spoken a part of my mind here with an appropriate closure. All of us dream the enchanted dreams that accompany the lofty notions of marriage and bide in glowering anticipation the bliss that follows.

Perhaps sometimes, it would be wise to consider not only that which has been gained, but also what has inevitably been lost.

Double Negative

Admittedly, I have been pretty much biding the Fridays as though they were the proverbial (or cliched) light at the end of the tunnel, only to realise that none would share in the well-won revelry that supposedly accompanies the closure of each working week. Staying at home all day is hardly a fitting manner to spend the one cherished day meant as a rightful reward in recompense for the week's drudgery and toil.

It has shown itself to be quite apparent that finding just one person with which to spend an evening of banter and thoughtful conversation under the calming influence of liquid courage in any guise is simply a mammoth task, to say the least. And it is a pity.

I have all the time; all the freedom (finally); all the spending power. But none in whose company I truly relish.

Indeed, one can have everything, and nothing at the same time.

Divine Inspiration

There are very few of us left in this world.

The few who watch sunsets because they 'feel like it'.

Those few whose moods take a sombre turn with the day's closure.

These few who vacillate between the indistinct boundaries of faith and reason - who still believe in one God, but continue in pursuit of a reason to acknowledge his existence. The Bible is anecdotal, and I have not committed heresy by observing thus. To acknowledge some degree of epistemological fallibility in the biblical work is reasonable, that is to say, that which has been documented between its covers has somewhat strayed away from the historical actualities, for in the capriciousness and selective discrimination of the human mind we should find reasonable ground to believe so. Again, one is very much inclined to grant me this position unless he is(are) the experiencing author(s) of the said holy text, in which case I would stand corrected by his own affirmation of the veracity of his account (i.e. the Bible).

I am a Roman Catholic. I am also a Determinist. I believe that God is the First Cause. I am skeptical of divine intervention. In fact, there might be a possibility that this phenomenon was taken into deterministic account when God first created the world (i.e. God willed it during the Genesis).

I am a creation of the divine - but hear this, I wasn't fashioned by the Hand of God himself. Perhaps my Platonic form finds its origins in the divine manipulations of the Father, a blueprint, if you will. I am derived by the union of my parents, from that which sustains them, and ultimately from the Earth itself - its chemical elements. Am I to believe I was created with Adam and Eve? Perhaps, but only in understanding - God's understanding, for I materialised but a mere 21 years ago.

After all that has been said and done, I am a Determinist and a Roman Catholic.

There are very few of Us left in this world.

***

PS: Anyone game for drinks tomorrow? Leave a message after the tone.

-beep-